virgin play

Yes!
He is well!
Tomorrow is the day
I am very excited
I am a little anxious
I am cleanly shaved as instructed.
I have the skirt, picked out the top, suitably shorter and tight, a little slutty.
So much discussion went into the dress...I have a great dress but without a zip up the back..an essential part of tomorrow, He wants a zip.
I am beginning to think tomorrow will be choreographed...
It must be a skirt then.
He has decided on my red bra..the one he saw when he pinched my nipple.
No panties (as usual). He said I could decide, to wear panties or not. I didn't want to make the decision. So He did...No panties.
Heels. Black, patent, peep toe, come fuck me heels.
My make up, He wants it how He has already seen it...less is more he says.

At 11,
Walk up the drive.
Knock on the door, I will be there.

refreshed

I am back from a break. The Easter four day long weekend is always a refresh and recharge for me.

Off to the bush, the big river, clear as crystal nights, cold breezes and the warm glow of the roaring fire.

Four days of freedom,

Four days of the bush.

How I love the Easter break.

So now I am back and ready to move forward.

I am ready to bend.

I am ready to play.

I am ready to submit.

Well at least today I am!!!

Such an inconstant girl.

artist unknown

prostitute or whore

I was thinking...dangerous :)

Whore or prostitute?

It came from a laugh I was having with my correspondent.

"Oh no! you can't give me anything"

*thinking for a bit*

"I might be a whore but I'm not a prostitute!"

We both LOL'd for a bit.

So I have been thinking. Why does the thought of prostitution and in particular the thought of prostituting myself turn me on so much. It gives me a sense of empowerment, the same sense of empowerment that submission does. How could this be? It seems like such a contradiction but then I do tend to be a muddle of contradiction don't I?

The thought of prostituting myself  seems to be infused with a sense of control and self determination in direct opposition to the path of submission I am attempting, though somewhat unsuccessfully, to travail.

I am too much a contemporary girl..a girl of modern ideology..ArrrrGH!

The desire to just let go, be taken in hand is acute at the moment. The ebb and flow of one step forward two steps back is tearing into me and making my core slut scream!

Oh dear! The drama queen is back.

Back to my original question ..prostitution, yes yes. I don't think its the act of receiving recompense for services that turns me on. At the centre of it is my need to please him, or her or anyone for that matter. I need to give, to be the whore that brings pleasure through the use of her body and mind and yes to hear those words. You know the ones. Don't pretend you don't. The "good girl" that stops me in my tracks and sends a shiver down my spine. Those words ignite my Svadisthana, that chakra below my navel responsible for making me wet.

The payment of my whore is neither here nor there.

So we come full circle..I am indeed at my core a whore though I do prefer to be the delicious little whore wiggling my arse...with no need to be prostituted.

Greek literature refers to three classes of prostitutes: pornai, or slave prostitutes; freeborn street prostitutes; and hetaera, educated prostitute-entertainers who enjoyed a level of social influence that was denied to nearly all non-prostitute women. Pornai and street prostitutes, appealing to a male clientele, could be either female or male. Hetaera were always female.

According to tradition, Solon established government-supported brothels in high-traffic urban areas of Greece--brothels staffed with inexpensive pornai that all men, regardless of income level, could afford to hire.

Prostitution would remain legal throughout the Greek and Roman periods, though later, Christian Roman emperors strongly discouraged it. (Prostitution: An Illustrated History and Timeline, By Tom Head)

I think I might be Hetaera! :) but there's the contemporary girl in me talking :)

Her...and She

Amazing post : Her (Vesta's Submission) cut directly down to my she. Clarified my delicious little whore..yes that's it, my she is two she's.

One she is Daddy's girl, a little pouty she. "yes Daddy", "Yes Sir", "Please Daddy can I?".

artist unknown
Via tumblr

The other she? hmm I like that other she. Maybe like Vesta describes, not very submissive. Maybe! there is no maybe about it! This she knows her power..the power of a slut. The She who is greedy, demanding, attention seeking, provocative..and revels in her whore. This she wiggles her arse in the knowledge of it's power. This she..the she that breathes with each pulse of her blood, this she wants to be taken and subdued. It's this she who begs for his control through her attention seeking, her wiggling arse. She needs to be spanked and she wants her cheek slapped. Surprised into submission, feeling his strength as she bend under him. 

ranDOMness

Who knows what to write, I have been missing a little while.
I have missed the posts I usually follow.
I have missed my Daddy.
Still needy, still trembling with expectation.
Unexpected delight today..He instructed me from his distance.
I have complied, with delight and reported today's events.
I am exhausted.
I am content.
I am composed.
My delicious little whore has wiggled her arse.

So I have been reading blogs. I love to read blogs. Personal accounts of this shiny world. Some sexy, some down right scary, but always awe inspiring. 

I crave more, my husband and I only play at the edges. I wait for more from him and if it never comes then so be it. I will deal with it somehow. 

I think of an affair to sate my affliction, but I never have. I am not sure why, many reasons I expect.
I am no good at a lie, I have an open and honest face.  Possibly though, and probably more importantly I don't ever want to hurt him and the guilt I feel in deceiving him is acute. 

I still don't understand my loyalty to him when he has cut me so deeply. Some would say I am a fool, as would I have said only a couple of years ago. Its more complicated than that though isn't it? 

Some counselled me, "It's what you can tolerate". I discovered I can tolerate a lot more than I thought I ever would. I don't think I would ever be capable of it..an affair..but boy oh boy, would I love to try! lol! 

in the mean time...

the delicious little whore has wiggled her arse.