aftermath

He'll never read this, not here, but I will tell him..


I was exhausted last night.


Today I am very sore...muscles and the sting in my arse.


Cumming so much has left all my muscles reminding me of my adventure.
There are marks, pretty marks. I looked down and saw the red stripes across my breasts and I knew I had walked out of the fantasy to exactly where I needed to be.
I loved cumming, collapsing into you, supported by you, though I tried my hardest to remain standing.

It was great fun..I had soooo much fun. Was it supposed to be that much fun? I feel like a new addiction has begun. I have found my drug. I need it like air, this thing we called submission. I didn't feel particularly sub-like though. I was just having too much fun being cheeky and bratty, though I suspect I paid for it in an extra stroke or two.


My nipples are VERY sore, I had been warned about clover clamps, but I guess I didn't have much choice when all was said and done...OUCH!

I didn't think you were particularly rough. I think you were taking it easy on me. More please Sir. I wonder if you may have been caught off guard by my laughter and ...well frankly sense of  joy and just forgot to be too rough ..lol..it was so much fun though. This kinky little chick also loved the tears. That gammit of emotional places to which you lead me.


I came home and had a bath nursing the sting in my arse and the memories in my minds eye, tears rolled from my eyes from the release I felt. So much attention from you. I felt very selfish.


It was exactly what I needed, where I needed to be and so much more than I expected. Relief in being allowed to let go, and I did let go. Relief in being allowed to be who I want to be, who I am, deep inside.


The picture could have been me. The flogger, the heels, the wriggly lil girl. Squirming, writhing, avoiding. With each stroke the sting became more acute. Then the spank of your hand propelling me forward. Your touch caressing, soothing the sting., wiping the tears from my cheek. 

Thank you...so much x

the first day of june..the journey continues

Welcome to the first day of June

Winter begins with the upside down seasonal calendar! brrrrrrrrrr

The petrol is in the car...she is prepared..she sets off, her journey continues...

Tapsuov

virgin play

Yes!
He is well!
Tomorrow is the day
I am very excited
I am a little anxious
I am cleanly shaved as instructed.
I have the skirt, picked out the top, suitably shorter and tight, a little slutty.
So much discussion went into the dress...I have a great dress but without a zip up the back..an essential part of tomorrow, He wants a zip.
I am beginning to think tomorrow will be choreographed...
It must be a skirt then.
He has decided on my red bra..the one he saw when he pinched my nipple.
No panties (as usual). He said I could decide, to wear panties or not. I didn't want to make the decision. So He did...No panties.
Heels. Black, patent, peep toe, come fuck me heels.
My make up, He wants it how He has already seen it...less is more he says.

At 11,
Walk up the drive.
Knock on the door, I will be there.

refreshed

I am back from a break. The Easter four day long weekend is always a refresh and recharge for me.

Off to the bush, the big river, clear as crystal nights, cold breezes and the warm glow of the roaring fire.

Four days of freedom,

Four days of the bush.

How I love the Easter break.

So now I am back and ready to move forward.

I am ready to bend.

I am ready to play.

I am ready to submit.

Well at least today I am!!!

Such an inconstant girl.

artist unknown

wish list

Its 2012, did you know? Apparently I forgot as the new year slipped by to make those resolutions that we all make in foolhardy moments liquored up with champagne or what ever your favourite bevvie may be.


So here I go..resolutions wish list 2012, naughty AND nice..in no particular order..oh I'm a such a girl of lists.


1. Help hub get well and back to work.


2. Stop sweating the small stuff (there's far too much big stuff going on).


3. Enjoy the Journey..make the journey and sieze the day


4.  Lose some weight (a start made on this one)


5. Get back to exercise


6. Dance in the Rain


here's where the wish list starts...


7. Find a community of like minded people


8. Explore a D/s relationship with a Dom/me..(I am dying inside with this need unfulfilled).


9. I want to find a Munch or a play party. I want to experience it all.


10. Local friend in the lifestyle..where might they be.

artist unknown

user ready slut, batteries not included

We were alone, a rare opportunity presented and we decided to go out for dinner.

'Come on then' I said to P as I walked to leave the lounge room.

'Take your panties off first."

I stop in my tracks, looking back at him with a little confusion and a not inconsequential amount of excitement.

"..Or am I too late?" (he does know me and my penchant for no knickers with a frock).


"No" I smiled as I slowly lifted my dress and slid the red lace down letting it fall to my ankles. I stepped out of the panties and kept walking lifting my skirt to show him my bare bottom.
----------------------------------
Later, on our way home from the restaurant I lifted my skirt to 'sit pretty' on the car seat thinking sexy thoughts. He appreciated my bare bottom on the seat. I became hot and moist between my thighs. He could see everything in front. Tapping the dashboard he beckoned me to rest my heels up there and I threw my legs wide up on the dashboard, my vixen red toe polish reflecting in the windscreen.


It was still daylight and I was nervous someone would see my Sharon Stone moment as we drove through the suburban jungle. The relief I felt when we arrived home!..but I was very very wet. Well lubricate for any impending use. User ready...;)




unknown artist



begging

Hello Sir

I have returned after exercise and showered. I did not dress as requested, and finished some household chores, took breakfast and now ...

I sit on the floor, my legs wide, bent at the knees my feet either side of the laptop, on display for you. This position reminds me of Schroeder as he sits at his toy piano in the Charlie brown series I loved when I was a much littler girl. My breasts hang squeezed between my arms as I type. My nipples a little erect and I'm not really sure if that's the cold or the excitement I feel at the moment.

I feel the chill of the spring air. The sky is blue through the three open windows and the sun is returning after the long winter.

My hair hangs in wet waves to just past my shoulders and I stroke the skin of my bare legs down to my toes and up again to my inner thighs, lingering for just a moment on my displayed pussy. Trying not to be distracted...back to the task at hand! 

Sir

I want to submit.
I need to submit.
I want to bend to you.
Bow to your will.
Please will you accept my submission to you.
To be guided, to be held, to be subdued by your strength, by your calmness and surety.
Please will you to take my control from me to your own control.

Teach, train or mentor me in any way you choose.

Take pleasure from me and in me.

Let me submit and serve.

Let me call you Sir, my Daddy, to have me for whatever you see I need.

Let me sit naked at your feet, my head on your knee.

I trust you in all these things.

via imarumblr@tumblr.com
(artist unknown to me, if anyone knows please let me know for proper acknowledgement)

acceptance

A mentor, the delicious little whore is considering such. Maybe the next step. To learn, to be guided.

I went back and did some reading..in fact I read my whole blog...I write about sex frequently don't I? Apologies for the gratuitous sex posts - just inspired I guess.

The posts have been good for me. They have reminded me just how far my journey has come and that my husband has travelled the road with me to a certain extent. I had not realised just how much.

Beckmann - Siesta

I have been cradling him  over the last little while. He is not in the same place he was earlier in what appeared to become 'our' journey. I must care for him. He will return to himself but right now he is not. I am accepting that he is not who I need him to be and will likely never be that man. I love him and my acceptance of his place in fulfilling my needs has made me calm (at least for now...I change a lot!)

Daddy's back!

I have noticed I write in the third person when I tackle something personal and emotional..Its easier to pretend its somebody else or some fiction.. maybe one day I should write a book in the third person...a memoire of she...


The first steps with Daddy..he brought her back to him at her invitation. Weeks before he had set her free, adrift. Logically she saw it was the right thing to do. She didn't argue she was passive in his decision, but she screamed inside. She wanted them both. One shouldn't interfere with the other, but it was hard to balance. 

The arrangement was good for them both. They lived a great distance away from one another and they were both committed to another. She had her vanilla life to continue, but the ache in her had been building for some time. Part of her had wished she had been aware if this life, this need in her before she had readily committed to her vanilla existence. Now, having made the discovery, she felt that living it online was only half an existence. A shadow of what she really needed. It was the best she could manage though.

She felt the invisible string connecting her to her husband, her vanilla husband and their life. She barely understood why she maintained this commitment. He had not proven worthy. He had disrespected her and abused her trust. But as she grew older the idealism of her youth gave way to a more mature and realistic vision of the world around her.

She spent long hours wondering why she didn't have an affair, why she didn't follow her heart, her desire, her need to bend and bow to another's will, to give herself completely but remain uncrushed by it. But she knew that what she needed was not just about sex. She happily engaged in all manner of sexual appetite. She bent to her partners will, they visited her kink together, they played, they discovered the excitement of his domination over her sexually, she submitted in that way. But it was more than just sex she needed and that's where Daddy came in.

Daddy and she had built their arrangement only briefly, and she needed to move incrementally. It was all so new. Her vanilla self had the heart of a lioness. She had faced many things and survived. She survived despite her husband, not because of him, but she continued to love him and stand with him..she never knew why, but she did. Her other self though had the heart of a church mouse! The other she was not so brave and many times her courage wavered. Daddy had let her go, released her. She was never really sure why, perhaps a range of reasons, but she missed him, even though he had challenged her to the point of anger and then tears.

Now Daddy was back and she resolved to be brave. She trembled inside though. He had promised he'd try to move more slowly, to gauge her better. But he asked that she help him, to tell him when she needed more. Over time she guessed this would change, when she knew him better, when her submission deepened to the point she hoped it would. She thought about the nature of this otherness with Daddy and hoped she could be brave this time, brave enough not to let Daddy down. Then she crawled gently back to her vanilla life and into bed with her husband, so as not to wake him, she knew he would fuck her in the morning, but not now, not when she wanted to just think about Daddy.