the joy of nipples

I have a confession, something I have known but never told, never admitted. I have never been a fan of the play of nipples!  I hear each gasp of the small audience who fly by the journal of my inner she. Fear not, I have another confession. I have never actually tried anything nippley. Hub has never offered (ordered...sigh) and I have never asked!

So with this in mind, how could I possibly know I was adverse to the tweak, the bite, the twist or the pull. Sensitive nipples and the fear of pain at the lightest squeeze I guess.

Tonight however all that has changed. Tonight I begged for my nipples to be tortured, twisted, pulled and abused. Be careful what you wish for...

I was particularly needy tonight, begging for anything and everything. I begged for my bottom to be abused, I begged to be fucked, I begged for my bottom to be spanked hard and I begged to masturbate...then they just fell out of me. Those words. He didn't ask me to beg for it but I did.

"Pleeease twist, Pleeease pull, pleeeease hurt my nipples"

I was as surprised as he was and he obliged willingly and enthusiastically. What a wonderful husband.

I came like the roaring forties, thoughts of "Cum for Daddy" in my head as those nipples were exercised. I hadn't ever seen them stretched to that long in my life. Twisting, pulling, jiggling, pinching...little squeals of delight and pain. Delicious.

So now as I sit here with nipples glowing pink and a little painful, here's the question..I think it's time for nipple clamps, but before someone decides for me (hello Daddy), I hope to gain some insight from the experts among you..I know some of you are out there...give me some advice...'Nipple Clamps for Dummies', 'Nipple clamps 101' or 'Nipple clamps for beginners and princesses'.

Her...and She

Amazing post : Her (Vesta's Submission) cut directly down to my she. Clarified my delicious little whore..yes that's it, my she is two she's.

One she is Daddy's girl, a little pouty she. "yes Daddy", "Yes Sir", "Please Daddy can I?".

artist unknown
Via tumblr

The other she? hmm I like that other she. Maybe like Vesta describes, not very submissive. Maybe! there is no maybe about it! This she knows her power..the power of a slut. The She who is greedy, demanding, attention seeking, provocative..and revels in her whore. This she wiggles her arse in the knowledge of it's power. This she..the she that breathes with each pulse of her blood, this she wants to be taken and subdued. It's this she who begs for his control through her attention seeking, her wiggling arse. She needs to be spanked and she wants her cheek slapped. Surprised into submission, feeling his strength as she bend under him. 

the danger of the delicious little whore

He's away. Daddy's away. Out of her reach.

She is needy...so needy.

What does His babygirl do in this situation?

There are not enough rules, not enough instructions to fill her time.

A temptation to 'slut around'.

The delicious little whore is raising her head again.

Wiggling her arse.

Arrgh! come home Daddy! 

drifting & connecting

A newer connection is taking up some time.

My husband / partner  / lover have drifted lately. Drifting in the opposite direction. Life has become hectic. Work and family commitments draining both of us. I have allowed my head to be turned to another's attention. A connection only online but this is probably the most dangerous liaison I have ever allowed into my little world. A man in the same country, albeit another city. A man who can reach me.

I have been careful to not make connections that have any chance of becoming a threat to my 'real' offline relationship. While I wait for my love to discover me, to come on this journey with me, to lead me, the need in me grows exponentially. The ache becomes a need. Time ticks slowly when that need is not fed. So in weakness I allow another to take me on a journey and what an interesting journey it is! There's those 'hell's bell's' moments...what the *&%#@ am I getting myself into? But its like a car crash where I can't look away.  

limbo

Tonight I am at a stalled state in my journey. Tired and treading water. Afraid and filled with anxiety that this journey will end...in nothing. I consider stepping outside my relationship to calm my frustration.

Satisfaction is minimal at the moment with online pursuits. Time is limited online. I am busy with work life and the seasonal round of holidays...and that means little privacy.

I am a private person, believe it or not, letting most things out from my mind under the guise of anonymity. Sometimes I think this is the only place where I can be me, but then I feel me begin to self censor. Stories, real or imagined, I commit here...though most are real, only a few have been fantastical stories of longing and desire.

Taking delight in reading the thoughts of others it give me a sense of connectedness, a feeling that my secret passions are not so secret and not so unusual. I am also aware of the cruel irony that a lot of you are like me. We exist as half a story, as a Ying to somebody else's Yang. Encouraging and leading the partner we love to act in a way that we need. To embrace ttwd. I live in envy of those of you who have found someone with which to share this.

have you ever been...

Have you ever been so needy it hurts?
Have you ever felt the ache that won't be sated?
Have you ever had the burn deep inside?
Have you ever felt close to tears..driven there by the longing that will make you scream with just a tiny push?
Have you ever felt the loneliness of offering and not being taken?


I have.


I feel the frustration,
the irritation.
I feel the longing deep inside.
My breath grows shallow, my sweet pinkness swells and throbs,
screaming to be taken,
to be used,
to be loved.


My submissive she cries with impatience, having offered herself freely in sweet devotion,
..ignored...


crushed.