running away

I am running away. To save my sanity I am running away..on my own, with no hub or family.

Feeling the guilt of the good mother and wife but nonetheless I cannot be dissuaded.

It has been a terribly difficult year.

2011..I hate it. Most of this year has been a roller coaster which I know I will survive..I have before (oh the Drama!).

The only way I can survive it though is to run. I am not going forever, just a couple of weeks, to get my head together, to get settled and balanced again. To wash everything that was this last few months away. To feel cool water and warm sunshine on my face. To walk, to photograph the stars..capture them. Maybe then I can return and be the woman my family deserves and the woman I deserve myself to be. I can return to the delicious little whore, wiggle my arse and smile back over my shoulder :)

I have held it together for everyone until recently, but now I have dropped my own bundle like I have never experience before.

I am worried I won't come home,
..but I will..I have a plane ticket!

So in a couple of days I will run, leaving 2011 behind me. 

I will face this kind of year again though hopefully not for a while.

2012 is going to be better, I know it.



artist unknown..but what a beautiful picture.. anyone know?



♫Random Song of the Day♫ Bennie & the Jets

I got up early this morning to squeeze in a run before work.

It was COLD! My phone said it was 21°F and felt like 16°F. Needless to say, I was all bundled up.

Plus it was still quite dark, so I threw on my reflective vest and headlamp.
Safety first, y'know.

I bet I looked super sexy.
Maybe I'll snap a picture next time.

I got home from my run with perfect timing to see this scene.



Such a fun song.
Such fun eye candy.
Such a fun scene.

Makes me wanna dance on a bar.
I think I've probably gotten a bit too old for that.
But still ...
Someday ...
Maybe ...
Right?

A girl can dream...

Now, I'll have this song stuck in my head all day and a smile on my face.

Have you ever danced on a bar? What's a song that makes you smile and just feel good? What's the coldest temp you've ever gone for a run?

running away

Running away last night did me a world of good. I read my book, took a nice meal and some wine.

I was aware of  men around me, they caught my eye, I smiled and went back to my book. I think I would have chatted with someone had they approached me, the mood I was in was dangerous. Did they know my pussy was bare, that my fire engine red panties were thrust deep into my handbag. That under the skirt I wore I was accessible, easily.

Earlier I had received an instruction. I went immediately to the bathroom and slid my panties down. The glass of wine I had consumed encouraged me to touch, I was hot and wet. He was with me in that cubicle..on the little screen in front of me.

'Good girl.. now go back to the table.'

'I think I might come', I text back.

'Not now, later.'

Pouting a little I returned to the table. The texts were hot, sweet and fun. I felt freedom. I had runaway and found myself in a wanton mood. I smiled to myself as I remembered I had no panties on. That anyone around me might at any moment, know the slut in me.

I had taken some dinner, a couple of glasses of wine and read some more of my book while I sat feeling the cool metal chair on my naked thighs and bottom. Later I drove home in the warm spring night air, sitting with my skirt hitched up naked on the car seat and hoping my wetness wouldn't spread to where P would see it.

I came home and was treated kindly. P realising that my tantrum was unusual. Never before had I run away to 'enjoy' myself, to escape things that I just couldn't bare anymore. Later laying on the couch, my head swimming a little from the wine, he noticed I wasn't wearing panties. I had driven home without them. Driving very carefully..only two drinks but I cannot tolerate very much alcohol and I NEVER drive if I have even had one drink. I was risk taking. Not good.

He  asked when I had taken them off? Did I wear panties to work? Was I naked at the pub?  My brat came out. I took back my power..not very submissive but something my mentor said a day or so ago had resonated with me.

'Don't give him control if he can't take it and use it fairly.'

I am paraphrasing but I think that was the gist of it. I had hoped that by giving him control it would encourage him to become the man I need.

My reply to my husband was less than submissive.

'It doesn't matter when or why I did it, it is here if you want to use it..but I'm not going to tell you why!' I said it quietly but affirmatively.  I felt he didn't deserve answers.

He reached over and thrust his fingers into my wet pussy, he got harder and quite rough. I was a bit push and pull but mostly I liked it, wanted it and was surprised by it. When he had finished and I was breathless and horny. He pulled me over his knee and began to spank me with his bare hand (my favourite). The strikes became harder and harder. As he saw me struggling and shrieking in pain he paused between blows and rubbed my arse..so soothing. He never spoke..I didn't know if he was doing it for me or for him until,

'I love the red glow on your skin.'

Those words make me so happy, even proud when he says them. He pulled me up. Standing infront of him, his hand squeezing my bottom and his other my breast.

'I'm going to fuck your arse'.

I had lost my power..

He used me and took delight in it...

...and so did I :)