DD or TTWD whats the difference?

Oh bloody hell..a dilemma! I read Lisa's blog re DD and from here I went elsewhere and onto there..then somewhere else. I had discovered domestic discipline, DD, HoH. I had known all these terms a little but never really investigated further.

There is a push and pull I feel when reading Lisa's story of her adventure with her new friend. On one hand hot, like naughty little girls up to mischief while their HoH's were doing what they do in the daytime. How I remember being that mischievous when I was a much younger girl, well lets face it, I still am that girl.

As read blogs and followed the DD paradigm I began to feel unsettled. Unsettled in the same way I was uncomfortable as I had discovered more deeply the subtleties of TTWD, BDSM and the like. I felt my feminist self straining upwards and my sub began to struggle. I question why the woman in the DD dynamic is always in need of corrective action. The recipient of punishment for transgressions. 



June Cleaver

Yes, damn it, this has made my sub struggle. The path I followed lead me to Learning domestic discipline and the art of the lecture where Clint demonstrates for husbands the lecturing art with a hypothetical..the wayward wife has been ticketed by the police for txting while driving. What struck me though is that surely His wife might not be the only one guilty of such a misdemeanor. Surely her HoH may be just as guilty of such a crime. What stands between HoH and crimes of this nature? Some would say self discipline. But who corrects the behaviour of an errant HoH? Must He just be trusted to always do the right thing? Ah yes..trust again..its key isn't it?

A naive discussion and questioning I know, coming from a direction of just not understanding. As always my questions are not a judgement of those happy couples who practice DD. The questions are for me. They apply to me and my situation. (it's always ALL about me she pouts :))

I don't think I respond positively to punishment. I respond to play (which might look like punishment but never feels like it! :)). Knowing I have pleased Him in what ever way He decides to take His pleasure is the source of my joy. If I have displeased Him or been disobedient, THAT is punishment..His displeasure, His disappointment cuts like a knife and reduces me to tears. I need to feel smaller and littler in every way than a Dom man...in every way. My need to feel that smallness is at the core of my submission. Maybe that's why I enjoy older Dom men. I need to feel the restraint of his hand, of his leather and ropes. I need to feel used, almost abused. I need to see His cruel nature, to taste His strength, His control. Then and only then, I feel His respect, His regard and His appreciation of me.  

Having said that..why doesn't my feminist struggle with that description? Why do I get wet, hot and breathless instead? My sub feels her power when I describe that situation in those words.