thoughts to me

Have you ever reached that 'oh shit' moment, that one where you hope its going to be OK but it has the potential to go horribly wrong?

I have.

I have trusted. My trust has not been betrayed and deep down I think it won't be.

But I have done it. Bit by bit I revealed my secrets. Revealed the doozy that I have kept so close. I know he is reading this..another of my 'rules' broken....Never let a Man or hub know this blog is here. These inner thoughts of me..this other she in me.

Quite recently, I told my husband P, it exists though he doesn't know what it is, where it is and he is content to leave me to 'think' in private.

Nude Study - Joseph Sudek

But He, that one who found me through this..He is watching. I find I quite like that :) but I have always been concerned about censorship, self censorship if someone is watching other than the faceless among you. I want to be able to say it all (well almost all) here. I want to say slutty things, princess whore things. I want to be able to stamp my foot, even if its at Him.

He is under my skin, He is different, though all Men are. I have revealed more to Him than anyone..he knows what makes me tick, at least he has all the pieces of the puzzle to put it together.

I am exposed and vulnerable and fighting like hell my desire to run. You might know how I

 am want to run!

So that's it...scared, vulnerable and laying my trust with Daddy.